Setting Consistent Limits

Another important aspect of consistency is setting and enforcing limits on behavior.  Limits help a child learn about acceptable and unacceptable behavior and, eventually, about how to make good decisions and to self-regulate. When a child can self-regulate — that is, organize and control her own behavior — she is better prepared to succeed in school, in her community and in society. Preschool age is the ideal time for a child to begin to learn to self-regulate because the area of the brain responsible for attention and behavior control begins to develop during this period.

Limits should be fair and appropriate to the age of the child. They should be understandable to a child and should be enforced in a timely and consistent manner without anger or violence. The best approach to guiding a young child away from an unsafe situation is to redirect her attention and substitute another item or activity that is suitable. An older child who misbehaves after appropriate guidance has been given may need time-out or withdrawal of privileges. When limits are enforced without anger and without violence a child learns that even though she has misbehaved, she still is loved.

Limits provide a sense of security and teach self-control. Limit setting begins in early childhood to ensure safety and expands as a child grows older to help guide behavior. When there is consistency in the way limits are set and enforced, each repetition helps a child remember right from wrong even before she has the cognitive ability to understand.  As important as they are, limits should not be so strict that they keep a child from exploring her world or being unsuccessful in her attempts from time to time. It is through those experiences that a child will learn how to be independent and to make good decisions.