Emotionally and socially, preschoolers are growing more independent. Your child will play away from you for longer periods now. For example, you may find that 20 minutes has gone by and your child has been playing out in his sandbox by himself. But don't be surprised if your child still needs lots of attention, hugging, and comfort. Being independent is hard work and your child will need to know he is doing a good job.

At 31/2, children can think for themselves, express thoughts and ideas, and do many things on their own. They are also beginning to understand other people's feelings. When you get hurt, your child will give you a kiss and say "It will be all right" (assuming you have shown that same kind of nurturing for him). You can encourage this concern for others by expressing your feelings. Let your child know that everyone has needs, not just him. When he says "I want some more juice," say "Please wait a minute while I finish my cereal." Treat your child with patience and respect. He will learn to treat others the same way.

Preschoolers also have vivid imaginations. Don't be upset if your child tells you a crazy story about how he saw a robot eat a tree. Fantasy is fun for three-year-olds. Some children even include themselves in their stories. This imagination is very real to children. This is what makes them afraid of monsters and the dark. Sometimes it is hard to tell what is real and what is not. Be patient in explaining the difference to your child.

• Breads and cereals - cooked cereals, ready-to-eat cereal, macaroni, rice, bread, muffins, rolls (include whole grain or enriched breads), spaghetti
• Vegetables - green tomatoes, peas, beans, corn, carrots, potatoes
• Fruits - melon, apples, peaches, strawberries, oranges, kiwi
• Meat and meat substitutes - chicken, pork, beef, fish, eggs, peanut butter, dried beans or peas, nuts
• Milk and dairy products - milk, yogurt, cheese, custard, pudding, milk-based soups

Children often want to eat certain foods all the time. This is generally not harmful as long as the food is nutritious. Children will eat what their bodies need if you make a variety of foods available. For example, a three-year-old might eat pears, peaches and pineapple for several weeks but not bread. Then suddenly, no more fruit, but lots of bread. Then suddenly, no more bread, but lots of meat. Then milk and cheese will be a favorite.

Every once in a while, give your child a new food. Don't insist that he eat it, but let him know about it. Talk about the shape, texture, and color. Encourage him to taste. If he does not like it the first time around, serve the food again in a few weeks. Children's tastes change just like adults'. As they get older, children learn to like more foods. Preschoolers who do not eat a variety of foods in a balanced diet may benefit from a multi-vitamin and iron supplement. Large doses of specific vitamins have not been shown to help healthy children, and in some cases may even be harmful.

Tips for serving meals

• Variety of color adds interest to the meal.
• Children are sensitive to temperature. Avoid very hot or cold foods.
• Serve small portions on a small plate. Let your child judge how much to eat.
• Make foods easy to eat. If your child is still having trouble with a spoon or fork, serve only one food that requires a utensil so your child can practice. Other foods should be finger foods. For example, carrots can be picked up with fingers, but rice or mashed potatoes cannot.
• Fill cups less than half full. This makes drinking easier and is less messy in case of spills.
• Serve meals at regular times. A hungry child is irritable and less likely to cooperate and eat well.
• Avoid nagging about table manners. Make mealtimes enjoyable. Encourage a child who does well with a spoon, tries new foods, or wipes his face with a napkin.
• Remember that appetites change. Your child may be very hungry one day and eat only a little the next.

Involving Children in Food Preparation
Children like to be part of any family activity. Letting them help in food preparation helps them develop an interest in food. It also teaches helping skills, counting skills, and cooperation. Try to allow enough time to prepare meals so that you are not rushed. Be patient and give your child a chance to help with appropriate jobs.

When you ask a child to do something, give simple and specific directions:

Watch your child to see that he can handle the job. If the refrigerator door is hard to open, think of things he can get out of low cabinets instead.

Show what you mean:

Here are some jobs a three-year-old can try:

• Wash vegetables
• Clear dishes from table
• Pour ingredients
• Pour juice from small pitcher
• Knead bread doug
• Snap beans
• Peel banana (if top is cut)
• Get out silverware
• Open packages
• Spread peanut butter on bread

Snacks
Snacks should be a regular part of a child's diet. Since preschoolers' stomachs are still small, they eat small meals. Most children need more than three meals each day. Snacks should be nutritious, not "junk" food. Good snacks include fruit, cheese, juices, crackers with peanut butter, and flavored yogurt.

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Prepared by Don Bower, Extension Human Development Specialist, and reviewed by Mary Anne Pace-Nichols, Karen Shetterley, Katrina Bowers, Holly Alley, Judy Hibbs, Esther Maddux, and Cindy Darden.

The University of Georgia and Ft. Valley State University, the U.S. Department of Agriculture and counties of the state cooperating. The Cooperative Extension Service offers educational programs, assistance and materials to all people without regard to race, color, national origin, age, sex, or disability. For large print, taped or braille editions of this publication, contact the author.