Most four-year-olds can also brush their teeth and wash their hands. These self-help skills are important to a child's independence. When you tell your child "It's time to wash hands for supper," he can run to the bathroom, pull out the stool, turn on the water, wash, dry, and run to the table. It makes him feel good to say "I did it all by myself."

Preschoolers are getting better at reasoning and figuring things out. For example, show Sarah that she gets four candles in her birthday cake because she will be four years old. She will soon be able to figure out that baby brother is only two so he gets only two candles. Your child can also understand past, present, and future. When you say "Tomorrow is Saturday. We all stay home on Saturday," your four-year-old will understand that today we still go to work and preschool. He can make plans for Saturday: "Tomorrow, when we stay home, I want to paint."

A four-year-old will tell you "I'm not a baby anymore." He knows that in the past, he was helpless. You had to do many things for him. Now he is bigger and smarter. He will also say "When I get bigger, I want to drive a truck." He understands that in the future he will be even bigger.

Preschoolers are becoming more sociable. They are willing to take turns and share. Many four-year-olds have a special friend whom they like to play with and talk about. "Can Willy come over and play with my toys? I'm going to let Willy play with my new blocks."

Your preschooler may resent being told what to do. He may go through a moody stage around this time. Remember, each time a child learns and grows, he has to get used to the "new" him. It also changes the way parents need to deal with him. At each stage, be sure to ask yourself if you are growing up as a parent along with your child.

A preschooler's curiosity will lead her to the medicine cabinet to look at the little bottles and colored pills. She will climb on a stool and stand on the kitchen counter to get the matches off a top shelf. This is just being curious, not "bad." What can a parent do to prevent injuries? Here are some ideas:

• Store dangerous materials in high cabinets, with lock if necessary.
• Explain to your child why he should not touch some things. "These matches are only for me to use. They might hurt you." "We don't play with sharp knives. They could cut you."
• Teach safety rules. "You can help me vacuum, but I will plug it in." "Only one person can climb on the ladder. First I will go up, then you can have a turn with my help."
• Show safety rules by being a good example. Put covers back on cleaning products and put them away after each use. Wear your safety belt every time you get in the car. Unplug electric cords with fingers on the plug. Don't yank cord from two feet away.
• Check on your child's activities often. Be sure you know where he is at all times.

Your children will let you know by their behavior when they are troubled. Bedwetting, unusual crying, nightmares, and becoming more demanding are some common signs of stress.

New experiences such as going to a new daycare setting can upset a three- or four-year-old. Other typical problems might be a new baby in the family or fights between Mom and Dad.

Teach your child at an early age how to deal with stress. Show your child how to manage time. We must all make decisions about how much we can do in each hour. Help him set realistic goals and to plan ahead. Don't force him into experiences he is not ready for.

Teach your child how to relax. Recreation and leisure activities are important parts of our lives, not just a luxury. Show your child how to stop and take a deep breath.

One of the best stress relievers, for you and your child, is to spend some happy time together. Watch for signs of stress. Be available to talk to your child about what he is thinking and feeling. Sometimes having someone to share a problem with makes it seem easier to handle.

Are you overweight? Do you have high blood pressure? Do you eat a balanced diet? Smoke? Do you limit fat, salt, sugar, and caffeine? Do you regularly participate in sports or exercises?

Now is a good time to get together as a family and get in shape. It is hard to find time in a busy schedule to exercise, but the rewards are worth the effort. Staying in shape helps you look better and feel better. Regular exercise helps you handle stress. Eating nutritious foods helps keep the heart, digestive tract, and circulation running smoothly. Fewer major health problems and visits to the doctor save time and money.

What activities does your family enjoy? Have you tried hiking, swimming, bicycling, running, aerobics, tennis, racquetball, boating, camping, baseball, soccer, karate, walking, roller skating, gardening ...?

Your little one will love to celebrate holidays. Plan special family times that your child can look forward to. Let children have a job to do to get ready. Picking out the holiday decorations or Grandmother's birthday present are sure to be remembered in years to come.

These family traditions give both children and adults a sense of belonging. They help us know who we are and where we came from. This feeling of security is important to your preschooler.

Best Wishes!

Prepared by Don Bower, Extension Human Development Specialist, and reviewed by Mary Anne Pace-Nichols, Karen Shetterley, Katrina Bowers, Holly Alley, Judy Hibbs, Esther Maddux, and Cindy Darden.

The University of Georgia and Ft. Valley State University, the U.S. Department of Agriculture and counties of the state cooperating. The Cooperative Extension Service offers educational programs, assistance and materials to all people without regard to race, color, national origin, age, sex, or disability. For large print, taped or braille editions of this publication, contact the author.