Intimacy is Ageless

You have heard all the things you should do for a long and healthy life: exercise regularly, eat nutritious meals, don't smoke, and more. You may not have heard, however, about the need for companionship. Despite what some folks think, the desire for intimacy does not decrease with age. In fact, the happiest seniors are married men and women who continue sexual intimacy after the age of 60. Seniors who remain sexually active in their later years report higher life satisfaction, better health and higher self-esteem.

Another surprising fact is that many seniors enjoy an active sex life that is more satisfying than the sex life they shared in their younger years. Typical reasons include the increase in leisure time, the absence of young children and not worrying about pregnancy.

Intimacy in any stage of life does not always involve sexual behavior. Older adults can express their love and affection for one another in many important ways, such as shared interests and companion-ship, holding hands and being a good listener. Giving and receiving affection from a partner is not the exclusive territory of the young; the need for intimacy is ageless.

Due to the death of a spouse or divorce, many seniors find themselves entering their "golden years" alone. In fact, because women outlive men an average of eight years and are less likely to remarry, many seniors are single women. In the United States at the age of 65, there is a ratio of 67 men to every 100 women. Making new friends is not hopeless, however.

Depending on health and access to transportation, there are various ways for seniors to meet new friends. A few examples include involvement in community organizations, church congregations, elder hostels, political clubs, and volunteer work.

Many older parents, especially if they are widowed, refrain from dating or pursuing an intimate relationship because they are concerned that their adult children may disapprove. Recognize that it is very natural to desire companionship and intimacy throughout life and that many single older adults endure great loneliness. Sometimes beginning a new relationship can take an older person's mind off the losses they have experienced or the loneliness they feel.

When Mary's mother, Edith, entered the Emerald Bay retirement home, she complained about everything from her poor health to having nothing to do. A few months later, after Edith met Frank and other new friends, she started taking dancing lessons with Frank and playing bridge with the community bridge club. Now Edith's complaints of poor health have disappeared and she jokes about having "too much to do." By accepting and encouraging her mother's new friendships, Mary is showing the love and respect she feels for her mother as an individual.

Whether intimacy takes place within a marriage, a dating relationship, or a new friendship, affection is an important part of life for all adults. It is important to recognize the emotional needs of older adults and that older adults themselves realize that denying themselves intimacy is denying an essential part of their humanity.

Your Health

Women and Heart Disease

Men often get the attention when it comes to heart disease. Yet heart disease is also the number one killer of women in the U.S. More women die from heart disease than from any other cause of death.

Women are more likely than men to get heart disease later in life. Usually hormone levels in women before menopause help protect women from high blood cholesterol. High blood cholesterol is one of the main risk factors for heart disease. However, after age 55, women tend to have higher blood cholesterol levels than men. For senior women, estrogen therapy may be one alternative to other cholesterol-lowering drugs. Research has shown that women taking estrogen had 50 percent fewer heart attacks or strokes than other women. However, the risks of taking of estrogen are still being studied. Check with your doctor to see if estrogen therapy is wise for you.

Other major risk factors for women are high blood pressure, smoking, and lack of exercise. Obesity is another risk factor for heart disease and, unfortunately, the percent of obesity in women increases with age.

High fat diets can contribute to obesity and high blood cholesterol levels. One way to decrease fat in the diet is to bake instead of fry. Here is a recipe for chicken nuggets that are baked, not fried.

CHICKEN NUGGETS
Dipping Sauce:
1 (8 oz) can crushed pineapple juice
1 Tablespoon cornstarch
1/4 cup pineapple-orange juice
1/4 cup barbecue sauce

Nuggets:
1 egg
2 Tablespoons lowfat milk
3 ½ cups cornflakes
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into nugget-size pieces

Pour undrained pineapple into blender. Process until it's a thick puree. Pour pineapple into saucepan and add cornstarch. Blend. Add juice and barbecue sauce and blend. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer, stirring until sauce thickens, about 3 minutes. Remove from heat and set side.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Whisk the egg and milk together in a small mixing bowl. Place cornflakes in a plastic bag and crush. Dip chicken pieces in egg mixture, then shake with cornflakes to coat. Put coated chicken on a baking sheet. Place baking pan in oven and bake for 15 minutes. Serve nuggets with warm dipping sauce.

Makes 4 servings.

Nutrition Analysis per serving:

Money Management: Where Are You Now? Where Do You Want To Be?

Controlling your money means knowing where you are now and where you want to be.

Where are you now? Answer the following questions, yes or no, to see if you know where you are with your finances.

1. I know my net worth (the value of all my assets minus my debts).
2. If I should die suddenly, it would be easy for someone to figure out who should be notified, where all my important records are kept, and what my finances are.
3. I have a national credit card account in my name only.
4. I have enough insurance to protect my income and assets (health, life, disability, long-term care, property, and liability insurance) adequately.
5. I have an up-to-date will, and therefore I have determined who will inherit my possessions and who will settle my estate.
6. I know approximately what my financial situation would be in the event I lose my spouse to death or divorce, and am prepared to carry on alone if necessary.
7. If I should marry or remarry in the future, I would retain my financial identity and discuss finances before marriage.
8. I have a financial plan for income security in my later years, and I'm prepared for inflation.
9. I have at least three financial goals this very moment.
10. I am confident that I can do a good job managing my personal or family finances.

Good money management practices allow you to use your money to reach your goals. Your goals define where you want to be. What are your goals? A goal is a specific task or object--something you can accomplish by a certain date.

Examples of financial goals include:

• Save $100 a month for 50 months to take a Mediterranean cruise
  
• Save $100 for 8 months to buy a new sofa
  
• Organize your household records
  
• Balance your checkbook
  
• Update will by the end of this year.
  

No matter what your circumstances, you need information on your finances. You need to know where you are and where you are going. You can control your finances if you identify your goals, stay informed about your finances, have a financial plan, and make wise financial decisions.

Source: A Money Management Workbook, American Association of Retired Persons, 1992, pp. 9 - 11.

The University of Georgia and Ft. Valley State College, the U.S. Department of Agriculture and counties of the state cooperating. The Cooperative Extension Service offers educational programs, assistance and materials to all people without regard to race, color, national origin, age, sex, or disability. For large print, taped or braille editions of this publication, contact the author.

An Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Organization Committed to a Diverse Work Force

DP-CFR-081 June, 1995

Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension work, Acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, The University of Georgia College of Agricultural and Environmental Sciences and the U.S. Department of Agriculture cooperating.

Gale A. Buchanan, Dean and Director